I am fortunate enough to live in a beautiful house in an idyllic location of the world,halfway between Barcelona and Tarragona in Catalonia,it is a lovely villa 1 1/2 kil. up in the hills with a panoramic view of the Mediterranean.
I have this very unusual vista which all of the visitors to our home have seen and been as amazed as I am every day when I look down from my terrace towards the sea.
You see we have an optical illusion,I think it is something to do with the curvature of the earth that makes it look as if the sea is actually above my home, not over 1km below me,I call it my tsunami.
The first time I noticed it, it really did take me by surprise,it was one of those WTF Moments?
Today,like every other day,I will take my cup of coffee first thing in the morning and go on to my terrace and look at my very own tsunami,it’s unreal of course merely a freak of the globe’s surface and gravity, however it pleases and amuses me every single day in life.
It is one of those things I really do not want an explanation for,much like that famous rhetorical question we guys use when in a public urinal and someone moves into the next trough and you cover your uneasiness of having your manhood in your hand while standing beside another of the same sex by saying something flippant.
“Why is it you drink 3 pints and pee 6,eh?
It is a question that needs no answer and it usually gets an equally embarrassed response of ‘Exactly mate was thinking the same myself.’
Awkward moment avoided and you have proved you are thinking of something deep and meaningful ,not trying to cop a view of your new neighbours John Thomas.
Ladies that is why,unlike yourselves men never,ever ask their mate if he wants to go to the toilet at the same time!
There are lots of everyday things in life,although unusual,that do not really require answers, then there are others that defy an explanation.
There was a fabulous film made in 1998 starring Jim Carrey and Ed Harris called The Truman Show I watched it several times,it really was a fabulous concept.
He doesn’t know it, but everything in Truman Burbank’s (Jim Carrey) life is part of a massive TV set. Executive producer Christof (Ed Harris) orchestrates “The Truman Show,” a live broadcast of Truman’s every move captured by hidden cameras. Cristof tries to control Truman’s mind, even removing his true love, Sylvia,from the show and replacing her with Meryl. As Truman gradually discovers the truth, however, he must decide whether to act on it.
I was thinking about this flick over the past few days,what triggered that was one of those ‘Britain Elects’ tweets that gives you the daily update of the state of the Parties in England and they give it the false label of Britain Elects.
It had the Tories on 41% and Labour on 40%, it was another of those WTF?? moments for me,I just cannot believe that this,the most inept government in my 65 years on this planet can still be popular with my English neighbours,and a lot of my fellow Scots too let’s not forget.
This is a government that inherited a National Debt of £800 billion and managed to ‘reduce’ it to almost £2 Trillion.
This is the Government that has inflicted an estimated 120,000 deaths of its own citizens by means of its austerity policies that have also caused the increase in the National Debt.
They have brought us the biggest ever self-harming of any government in the world by giving us Brexit,removing us from the biggest trading bloc in the world with 27 committed Nations all fighting together against the complexities of globalization to go it alone in what they have called Empire.2 part of this great plan is we are to get Blue Passports and halt immigration overnight and return to some imagined past greatness,that in essence never existed.
We have a Trade Minister a ‘Scot’ Dr Liam Fox who has criss crossed the globe eight times in two years seeking to set up post Brexit Trade Deals.
To date he does not have a single one,not even the hint of one to show for his efforts.
He does however have a fabulous tan and enough Air Miles to never have to pay for a flight for the rest of his miserable life.
We have a Foreign Minister that has managed to insult practically every nation and race on earth with his Old Etonian world view and racism.
A Prime Minister that is so useless she has managed to make Gordon Toom Tabbard Brown look ‘not so bad’ .
She called a General Election and spent the entire campaign hiding behind her couch in No 10 with her baby comfort blanket covering her head.
Her only allies in the world are the crazy racist in the White House Trump,the Facist in Madrid,and the Dictator in Turkey Recep Tayyip Erdoğan,that in itself should be enough to set off the alarm bells.
She reluctantly recently managed to sack the Deputy PM who had lied about having 1000+ porn images on his Government laptop,instead of being embarrassed by this flagrant misuse of his publicly funded computer and his actions this government and its MPs want to hound the Police who brought it to the attention of the public.
They think this is the biggest ‘crime’ in all this ,not the Deputy PM cracking one off at lunchtime while viewing some or all of his porn pictures.
We have a Brexit Minister that even a year after the Brexit talks began didn’t have a clue that the EU only negotiate on anything as a collective.
He is a laughing stock in Europe and has now been quietly replaced by his Civil Servant when it comes to any serious negotiations.
The £ has tanked and is now 16% less in value than it was the day before the Brexit result was announced.
According to the ONS The UKPLC ‘Balance Sheet is £490 billion worse off because of Brexit too.
We have the most expensive railways in the world something like 13% of our annual income is spent on rail travel while those pesky foreigners in EU spend on average somewhere between 2-5% of their income on rail travel,and in most instances on far better,more reliable trains.
Crime in England is up mainly because this government has cut 20,000 front line police officers.
We have the smallest standing Army ever,Aircraft Carriers with no planes, 45 Admirals, 280 Naval Captains and only 19 surface ships of which 6 are in the dry dock at anytime being repaired.
We have over 1.5 million regularly using Foodbanks, we have the lowest pensions in the developed world ,only this year overtaken Mexico and Chile putting us rank bottom when it comes to looking after our retired.
Yet we have enough money to repair a clock for £69 million, give our unelected Head of State £368 million to renovate her 700 bedroom Palace at the bottom of The Mall while taxing your Granny on her spare bedroom.
In the last available figures for England,on homelessness in 2016 over 1/4 million people needing housed.
“Warning over homelessness figures: Government claims that homelessness numbers have fallen by a fifth since last year should be taken with a health warning, says housing charity Shelter”, Monday, 13 June 2005. BBC News, “More than 250,000 are homeless in England – Shelter”, December 1, 2016.
Who to believe,Shelter or the Tories who stopped a law being passed that homes had to be fit for human habitation?
That is when it hit me,I must be living in a Truman type world,it is not real,how else can you explain that this government is still ahead in the polls?
If this was a real world the pitchforks and lighted torches would be out on the streets.
There is no way a government as callous,as cruel as incompetent would be in office and still ahead in the polls.
Tell me I am right,tell me like my ‘tsunami’ it’s not real ,tell me I am living a TV Reality Show and there is no cruel vindictive, corrupt ,incompetent group of racists and social physcopaths running my country.
Tell me that the people would never be stupid enough to elect a Tory Government that only cares about themselves and the 1%.
Tell me Scotland never entered a Union in 1707 and we are still a proud Independent country.
Most important of all,tell me that England never won The World Cup in 1966, someone tell me it is all fake news!